Tis the Season

It's almost upon us. That season that for some seems like a happy time and for others not so much. I can to the realization about a month ago that as this year comes to a close there are some major changes I want to make in my life. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to write. I don't mean piddling around writing either. I want to finish my book that I keep starting and never finishing. I had the pleasure in November to meet one of my favorite Canadian Authors, Kelley Armstrong. I got a chance to talk to her for a little bit after her book signing. My biggest problem writting is that I am a constant editor. I never think it is ever good enough so I am at a stand still. She said to me to stop being the constant editor and just get it onto the paper. She said that we are allowed to write shit the first draft. Which makes sense. I have always found people tell me my poetry is really good but I just always passed it off and said ya ya whatever. The truth is I am afraid. I know sounds like a pretty stupid reason not to do something you love to do. Its a self esteem thing I think. Even though I know I dont suck we are all afraid of failure and disapointment. I know a grown up thought coming out of my mouth. At 34 years old I should think this way all the time. So my goal is to finish the rough draft of my book by the end of Next year by the latest. The other thing I want to change in my life is the fact that I love music and I want to play more and write more. One of the ways I hope to acheive this one is an old friend of mine named Ryan. He promised to get together with me and help me write some music. Which I am truely going to try and acheive. I also have decided I need to live a healthier life style so I am going to attept to deal with my obesity. I am happy the way I am but I do want to live longer and maybe have kids and grandkids one day. I look around me and I havent really been that happy kind of at a stand still. I love my friends, my family and my boyfriend I just feel like I am a little lost sometimes which hasnt made me the happiest person to be around the past couple of months. Some things need to move forward and I need to grow into my environment a little more again. I feel that I need something a little different in my life and I am going to try some new things to acheive that feeling. Just as the winter season has changed and become cold I to am going to change. I am going to love a little more, smile a little more and laugh alot more. I am going to be more like the me I am destined to be. Seasons greetings everyone!