I am so Blessed

I have no idea even where I am at today.... Confusion and loss maybe. It always seems like I start thinking about where I think I am in my life when I start to lose my mind. I think what have I done that ended me up here and now? When I was 19 life seemed pretty simple. Get married, Have a couple of kids, Buy a house, Teach... now at 34 I wonder where I am at in my life. Divorsed, no kids, no house and I am not teaching. Some may think that I am pretty unhappy about things but really I'm not. I think that I am blessed with a great family I was born with. A great family I have adopted (my bestfriend and her kids). I look around at my friends that I've lost and gained and I think how blessed it makes me to have known each and everyone. One of my friends is not afraid to be who SHE wants to be no matter what anyone might think of her. She is strong. I on the other hand seem weak in comparision. I have always said I am not afraid of who I am or who I wanted to be . Lately, on the other hand, I am not so sure. I am at that crossroads where fear sets in and tries to take over who you are. Making you doubt your choices. I think that even though I am afraid at least those closest to me know me well enough to understand me. I am surrounded by people who are truely non-judgemental. People who like me for the crazy me, the quiet me, the romantic me, the angry me, the shy me, the loud abnoxious me and the poetical me. That makes me blessed to know that My bestfriends son refers to me as his dad to all his friends, regardless of what they might think. I am blessed her daughter looks at me and says whats on her mind. I am blessed her youngest hugs me and tells me he loves me to the moon. It makes me think I have made an impact on someone else and who they are turning out to be. Today, even though, I think I am lost and at a crossroads with who I am and what I really want in my life; I know one thing I am truly blessed for and that is for the amazing people I have around me that share my life and my everyday life!