It's easier to be afraid then to be brave!

Well here I made a promise to write more and I havent. Yeah me I suppose for being a big giant chicken. I suppose sometimes its easier to be afraid and live a lie then be brave and live the truth. There are a lot of things that scare me. Change being the major one. Being myself is the other. It really is easier to be what others want you to be. (The Perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect wife/girlfriend, the perfect what the hell ever it is they want you to be.) But deep down its harder to be who you really are. In alot of cases we all hide parts of ourselves from the people we care about afraid of what they might think or what others might think of them because of what they think of you. Does this sound confusing? Well trust me its very confusing. I struggle everyday with who I am. If this sounds like a riddle I guess it is. Those who are the closest to me with understand when they read this what I am talking about. Those who I want to know my heart and soul will understand this as well. I dont know if I am really ready to be brave like Miki and shout out who she is to the world; without the fear of reprecussions regarding her own choices. I love her for that. She is fearless. Today I wanted so much to write all about my heart and soul but I still can't seem to find my own words or the strength I need to say it. Today I had a conversation with a very dear friend of mine and told him all about whats in my heart and hides in my soul. He just laughed and said he already knew. Funny how those who know you best figure it out on their own. I am hoping that someday soon I can share with everyone I love what it is that I keep hidden and protected. Because I want to be brave not afraid.